Classic – White Slave Act of 2000

Another Day at Spellbook Slaves.

Ring

Hello and thank you for calling Spellbook Slaves. How can I help you today?

I’ve got my wife in some light duct tape bondage right now, but she’s going to be able to get free soon, I’d like to sell her to you as swiftly as I can.

We can do that, please give me your address, and I’ll send someone to get her. If you want an estimate of her worth, text a photo of her to 918 555-6918

Why thank you, I’ll do that.

I will send Evan to do the pickup. Do you want cash or a loaded debit card for her? Based on your photo, she looks to be worth about $900 wholesale.

A debit card will be fine. How long will it be?

I’m sending him now, can I get the address?

3845 S Lewis

That would be about 30 minutes, max.

Evan! I got a possible problem pick up for you. Please go to 3845 S Lewis and take the wife. Once you have her, please let me know and I’ll transfer funds to the card. She’s in light bondage and this might be a non-permissive pickup, but Debby-Ann and her crew are getting a bunch from the university, where they know it’s going to be non-permissive. Seems that the volleyball team had too bad of a season to be allowed to stay free.

Thanks, Thomas! Haven’t had a chance to use my taser in a long time!

Thought you might like that.

Ding!

Hello, can I turn myself in here?

Don't get many hot naked redheads asking to be converted.  Not a never happen thing, just rare.

Well, that depends on what you intend to turn yourself in for.

I’ve heard that if you are a slave, you can’t be charged with a crime that you did before you were a slave

That depends on the crime, but in general, yeah. Care to tell me what you did? I can tell you being converted will help, or not, that way.

I stole some money from my work. Not a lot, just a couple of thousands, but they are doing an audit next week, and they might find out that I did it. The last time they found someone stealing from them, they called the cops, had her arrested, bought her when the courts converted her and spit roasted her for a company picnic. I don’t want that to happen to me.

Was it stocks or bonds you stole? Makes a difference because those are covered by the feds, and they aren’t concerned about your status.

No, just money…

That’s a state offense, then, and grand theft is one of the things covered by the “Slaves can’t be tried for their actions as a free woman” clause.

Well, then I’d like to become a slave…

Ding!

I’d like to sell you my girlfriend…

This kid didn’t look old enough to have a girlfriend, much less one that was old enough to convert.

Can I see some ID, and proof that you are a person of personal contact with your ‘girlfriend’?

He digs out his wallet and shows me his learner’s permit. He’s legal alright.

I’ve got several photos of Amber giving me head on my phone, will that do?

Assuming 3 in the last 30 days, yes that will do.

He brings out his phone and shows me a dozen or so shots of her giving head. Of the dozen, at least 3 of them show both her face and his, enough to indicate he was a PPC with the girl.

Yeah, that will, do, assuming no other issues with her.

OK, great, I’ll bring her by this after noon.

<Later that day>

This is the place that Coach Watson wanted me to check out. Come in with me, ‘this will only take a second.

This is a slave place, why would the coach send you here?

They sell stuff I might need

Like what?

Just come in with me

Oh, fine.

They walk-up to the desk. She looks to be of age, but I’ll check that later.  Mid-teen ages are difficult to tell by just looking.

This is Amber, I talked about her with you earlier today.

Yes, I recognize her from your photos. Still want to sell her?

Sell me! You can’t do that, we are too young!

Well, let’s see about that. Let me see your ID, miss.

Amber hands over her license. She’s legal, if just. I set her license down.

Well, in some states you might be too young, but here in Oklahoma, you are legal for conversions, by several months.

Cecil, you said you loved me, why are you doing this?

Coach Watson wants us to convert our girlfriends to make us ‘Real Men’. All the team will be doing it before the next game. The coach says he has something special in mind if we win that game, but we have to convert our girlfriends first.

And you do whatever that pig of a coach tells you to do?

Pretty much.

Don’t do this, I’ll blow you every day, just don’t do this because your coach tells you to. Please, I’m begging you, I thought you loved me…

Well, every morning before school?

I could tell that Cecil was starting to give in. Need to push him towards converting her.

Sir, if I might speak with you in private…

I lean forward to speak to the boy and as I do, I trigger the door lock. She’s not running out of here until we resolve this.

I’ve heard through the grapevine that the Eastlake school system is making some sweeping changes to their student conversion policy, to take effect at the end of the semester. Do you know what status Amber’s parents have given her? Or will give her? It would be a shame for you to not convert her like your coach wants, and she gets converted because of a school policy. Not to mention the money you would get if you converted her today.

What I didn’t tell him was that I already had a buyer in mind for Amber, “Take it Bitch” is looking for some high-school girls, not just coeds, so I have a ready market for her type. Coach Watson had called in earlier today about his players might be bringing in their girlfriends “And fuck toys”, to use his term. I was expecting older, but whatever. What I’m not telling Cecil is how much Amber is worth, so I can let him “haggle” me up to a higher price.

Please, Cecil, don’t do this. I’ve got more to offer to you than Coach Watson does!

I look at Cecil

You think she’s going to get you in to college? Most of Coach Watson players get some sort of scholarship. Just saying.

Cecil looks at Amber, then back to me

How much is she worth to you?

I look at her. She’s worth fifteen hundred wholesale, easy.

How does $600 sound to you?

Fifteen hundred?

CECIL! YOU CANT DO THIS. I LOVE YOU! YOU CAN’T JUST SELL ME OFF!

Miss, I’m warning you, another such out burst and I will be forced to take action against you. A qualified person of personal contact has requested your conversion and is in negotiations for your conversion. By law, I am now allowed to apply whatever level of non-lethal force I need. Now Be Silent.

I turned back to Cecil.

How does nine hundred work for you?

Twelve Hundred?

Why don’t we say a grand, even? Cash money.

Deal

Deal

As we conclude the negotiations, Amber turns and starts to run towards the door, not knowing that it was locked. I pull out my taser and fire it at her. She goes down like a ton of bricks. I push the button several more times, she twitches but is out for the count.

Vicky, would you mind putting her in the holding cage while I get Cecil his money?

Ring Ring

Hello, this is Spellbook Slaves, how can I help you today?

This is Donald Norris with Norris’s House Painting, and I need to rent a slave or two for a big rush job I’ve got. Do you have any that might be able to use a roller on a stick? Being hot would be great, but I actually need a worker, so she doesn’t have to be grade A.

We don’t get many calls for renting work slaves, but it is something we do.  Normally, our slave rentals are for sex slaves.  We sell plenty of work slaves, but don't rent them out very often.

Yeah, I’ve got a few that might work for you. One has a fine art degree, with building side murals as her specialty. I suspect she knows how to use a paint roller. Pretty hot also, if you like small breasted semi skinny types. Rental rates for a work slave are three hundred per day. But if she is not in the same or better condition when you return her, or you keep her for more than a week, your card will be charged the full amount for the slave. Also, the rental rate goes up by a substantial amount if you use her as a sex slave as well as a work slave.

That sounds like a deal. I’ll be by to pick her up in a few hours. If she works out, might buy her from you.

That’s fine, we are open 24 hours and the time you pick her up is the time she needs to be returned by, for day count reasons. If you do decide to buy her within 48 hours, I’ll deduct her rental fee from her cost.

Ding!

A late teen, early 20s girl wearing a black and yellow tube top and shorts combo comes in.

Hi! My name is Carla Todd and I desperately need you to make me a slave.

OK, this sounds like a good start to our relationship.

Can I ask why you need to be converted today? Most girls don’t want it, much less desperately.

Well, I’m a senior at Dutch Hall and my grades, apart from sex skills, aren’t all that good. Low enough in fact that I’m in the bottom 10%, maybe 5%. That’s low enough to be a sacrificed at the end of the year. I’d rather live my life on my knees or on my back that be snuffed for low grades.

Well, her being a Dutch Hall student explains the tube top and shorts.

OK, I think I can help you. Do you have a copy of your sex skill grades or better yet a sexual skill rating?

Oh, yeah, both, they are on my phone. Let get show you. I’m better at sucking cock than being fucked, but I’m still pretty good at both.

I take her offered phone.  Yeah, she's got a 95% score for oral for males, 90% oral for women, an 75% for vaginal sex and a 40% for anal.

Don’t like it up the ass, I see.

Oh, I don’t mind it, just I can’t seem to get the rhythm right. My teacher spent a lot of time trying to get it up to at least 50%, but I can’t seem to get it right. Even tried spit roasting me to see if I could get the rhythm then. I mean the kind where you take it up that ass while you are deep throating at the same time, not the kind with hot coals. Didn’t help.

OK, I can take you. Might take me a few minutes to find a place for you. While I do that, please give me a pee sample so I can tell whether you are convertible or not.

I check the database, and assuming her whizz quiz comes out OK, I can take her.  She brings me back the sample, I test it.  She's high as a kite.  Fortunately, cannabis isn't on the forbidden list anymore, so I can still take her.  I check my internal database, and I'm full up on sex slaves right now, and none of them have low enough scores to put Carla in their place given her uneven scores, which means she's a general “for sale” slave.

Had a joint or two before you came in?

No, just three gummies. I don’t like smoking.

That’s OK, they don’t count as one of the things that makes you nonconvertible now. I’m not sure why it’s still on the test, it’s been OK for 11 years now. It might be for other countries. Don’t know, really don’t care. Anyway, let me make a call, I know someone that might take you based on your cocksucking skills. If he’s full up, you’re a general for sale slave, your sex scores, other than cocksucking, aren’t good enough for you to go in as a sex slave here.

I call up Fred at Deep Kiss Traders

Fred! This is Thomas at Spellbook. Are you in the market for a 95% score cocksucker?

I’m always in the market for one that high. Just a minute…

Jill, snuff Dominique! I got a replacement for her non-sucking ass. I don’t understand why I bought her to start with.

Ok, let me check my pricing. I’ll offer seventeen hundred for her, that’s my standard rate for that skill level.

Score.  Free money!  I love getting full value for a volunteer.

Works for me. I’ll have Evan bring her over once he gets back. Keep in touch!

Yeah, I’ll do that.

You’re in luck, Carla, a sucking club wants you. Let me warn you that some girls there get snuffed, mainly those that give bad head, but I doubt that will be a problem with you.

Thank you. I’ll take that risk over knowing that I’m going to have my heart ripped out. I’ve seen the schedule for this year’s graduation, and that’s the easy one. The other means of sacrifice are too horrible to contemplate. They open with having three girls ripped limb from limb as the class enters the auditorium. Then it gets bad. The foreign girls that they are spit roasting are getting off easy. I can’t thank you enough.

Well, while we are waiting on Evan, you might show me some of those cocksucking skills of yours.

Thomas, has anyone ever told you that you’re a pig.

Not this week, Vicky, but you need to remember your place in the overall scheme of things. You’re still a slave, even if Mike seems to like you.

Being a trophy wife isn’t what it used to be

Like I’ve said, most of my work is acting as what amounts to a divorce lawyer. Well, not a lawyer, but I take a man and his wife, file some papers and the man walks out an unmarried man. The wife, in general, doesn’t walk out.

So, my latest client, Dustin Jones, calls me. He had just, and I mean like last week, sold me his wife. Nice looking thing, Grade A- and a bit older than normal. She was bought by a nice couple that wanted a maid to do some light housework and be subjected to heavy torture.

Mike, I’ve made a horrible mistake and I need you to help me out.

Sorry, Dustin, I’ve sold Anne, and I don’t think her new owners are going to want to sell her back.

Oh, no, not that, I don’t need her back. It’s my new wife. Amanda. I just found out that she has a horrible gag reflex. Barfs if I fuck her throat. I don’t mean just gags, that sort of hot. I mean the whole, toss her cookies, the whole of the last thing she ate. I can’t have that. Can you come by and pick her up?

OK, I’ve got nothing hanging in the fire, might as well drive down to the Southside and see what Dustin has for me this time.

Southside traffic sucks. Always does.

Any rate, I get to the gated community that the Jones live in. The gate guard raises the gate and waves me in. When the guards at gated communities automatically let slavers in, it tells you something about the community.

Dustin lets me into his house, and the first thing he asks me is what happened to Anne. I tell him about her being sold as a work/torture slave.

So, she didn’t get snuffed?

I shrug. Maybe, but they seemed like they were more into flogging and stress positions. Nice couple.

I live in a weird world where I think that a middle age couple that buys a woman just to flog her as pleasant, but hey it’s a new world out there.

Amanda, dear, come here. I want you.

Amanda, can't deep throat. — Amanda, can’t deep throat.

Amanda comes out of the bathroom, totally nude, apart from 4 inch heels. She is a solid A-Prime. Really hot. Nice what seem to be nature tits and a great ass. How does a dude like Dustin get a woman like this as a second wife? Just a week after he sold his 1st? Oh, yeah, he’s worth high 9 digits, and I’m sure Amanda thought she was hot enough to wrap him around her fingers. Too bad about that gag reflex thing. Should have found out what her husband’s fetish was before signing the marriage license. Or letting him sign it, that really being all that matters now.

Look, while I understand that you generally sell to the first person who wants her, but I’ll waive payment on her if you will make sure she gets sold to someone that will snuff her. No, not just snuff her, torture her first. There is no reason to let a slut that looks like her but can’t suck cock live. And she needs to be punished for it.

OK. A multimillionaire, with a trophy wife that’s a solid 10, wants to make sure she gets snuffed because she can’t suck his cock the way he likes. Yeah, it’s a weird world. On the other hand, I’m not, I repeat, not, going to turn down a free A-prime slave. Even if it’s a snuff contract.

Well, Evan, I can tell you that she will be rated as A Prime as soon as I get her in front of the rating system. I’ll use her as a sex slave for a while.

No, don’t do that. Didn’t you hear me? She can’t suck cock. Total failure at it. Gags as soon as your cock goes in her mouth and throws up if you go deeper. She needs to be punished to the maximum extent possible for her lack of oral skills, even if she fucks like a mink in both of her cunt and her ass. Actually, she is the best cunt fuck I’ve had, but that’s not what I’m really into. Almost as good in the ass.

Well. OK, a lot of my “sex slave” rentals are actually for snuffing a hot chick. If she’s as bad as you say at oral sex, never mind deep throat, she’ll piss off a client and they will snuff her. Even those guys that rent a slave to just fuck will be pissed if she barfs on them. I don’t think she would last a week.

Do the snuffers torture the slut first, or just strangle them? I want her punished, not just snuffed.

Well, to be honest, no they don’t normally torture a sex snuff, just choke her out while fucking her. I’ll could sell her to the cooking show on TV14. They are constantly looking for her body type to show off various ways of slut cooking and roasting. Some of those are rather extreme, and they manage to keep the slut alive for 30 minutes or more. Really not a good way to go, I mean, if that’s what you’re after. Failing that, I’ve got a couple of clients that might be interested in her as part of their weekly snuff stream. I know they keep their play toys alive for as long as possible.

No, that’s not right. I mean, she would be seen by hundreds, maybe thousands of people that way. Plus, that would make her sort of famous, for at least a couple of weeks. She doesn’t deserve to be famous, even if it’s for her snuffing. And I really don’t want her on TV. I’ve seen the cooking shows, they rerun their “best of” roasts and she would make that list. I mean, just look at her, she’s a high-quality slave. Just useless to me, even if she does have massive breasts and a great ass. And a streaming snuff really isn’t what I had in mind, even if they really tortured her first. That’s still going to make her famous, and I’ll bet that the edited after the stream videos would be really popular. Any way she could be snuffed in a less public way? I mean, I want her death to be fairly meaningless. Painful, but meaningless.

What about selling her to the “snuff and torture” club at Tesla High? Used as a practice snuff bunny by a number of high school kids that will, likely, screw it up, causing a longer than normal and much more painful death than normal.

Oh, that sounds wonderful. Hear that Amanda, I’m going to have you snuffed by several kids for practice. Oh, never mind, don’t try to talk, I know that drug cocktail I gave you has made you incapable of rational thought right now. Too bad it didn’t relax you enough to get rid of that damn gag reflex. I keep you around if you didn’t barf every time I face fucked you. Bye Bye now…

You have got to be kidding me – Classic

Spellbook Slaves Front Desk.

This is a “classic” story from April 2011, edited to fit current names. Tweaked for current technology.

It’s slow, and the warehouse and slave quarters need to be cleaned, so Vicky and I are manning the front desk while most of the staff are in the back cleaning, or supervising slaves working, whichever. Mike is off at the state slaver’s convention.

We had just bought a mother and daughter pair that were not “living up to their full potential”, whatever that means. I don’t make judgements on sellers or their reasons, I just pay for the slaves if they are selling, or charge them a fee if they want to keep the slaves. It’s the business.

After this transaction was over, a really sleazy looking guy, in a leather jacket and leather pants, walks in.

Sleazy guy, “Y’all take Personal Contact conversions, right?”

Vicky allowed that we, in fact, do so.

“Well, I’ve got a problem. I’ve been fucking so many chicks over the last month that I don’t know which one I can sell off. I’ve got my security camera for my ‘chamber of love’ that records to DVD. What I would like is for y’all to watch them, figure out which one I’ve done the dirty on at least 3 times, then go get them. If you can tell me which ones qualify, I can check my little black book for their names and addresses. At least all but the tall long-haired redhead, bitch wouldn’t even give me her name, much less her digits and addy, but I think she was a one-time thing anyway”.

Vicky and I looked at each other. I did my Vulcan eyebrow. Vicky turned back to the man. “Sure, we can do that. There is a 15 dollar an hour charge for that, payable in advance. How much time are we looking at?”

Sleazy drops the stack of disks on the counter. “Well, I’ve got 12 dual layer disks. The camera system is motion triggered, so that should be all fun time.”

Who the fuck is still recording to DVD-R? We don’t even have a standalone player anymore. And I think only one of the older computers has an optical drive, granted it’s a CD/DVD/Blu-ray combo drive, but I don’t think it has been used in at least a year.

Vicky looks at me. I do a fast Google. “12 full dual layer disks would be 48 hours, assuming normal compression. 96 hours if 2X, which is a high as you can go and get reliable playback on a stock DVD player or optical drive.” Google makes me an expert on anything, at least in the short term.

Sleazy rubs both of his brain cells together. “I think it’s the slow speed. I set it up for highest quality. Thought I could make some bucks in the amateur porn business. That went bust, seems you need model release forms for that to work.”

Yeah, that or use slaves, but I don’t think a sleazeball like this “man” can afford a slave, much less a couple or three.

“That would be seven twenty, then.”

“Do you take checks?”

Vicky and I together “No” Vicky adds “Cash or credit card only. No debit cards”.

Sleazy sleazes “Can’t do that right now. I know I’ve got at least one. Let me find her on the first disc, and I’ll get back to you so we can do this.”

A Change of Job – Classic

Hill’s Fine Meat’s Hiring Hall

This is a “Classic” WSA2000 Story, originally posted Mar. 2006, taken from Usenet Google Archive.

Author’s note: This story is set in late 2001, after the Alternate Meat Source act was passed, but before it was in common use.

I look over the help wanted ads in the Eastlake World. Find this

“Inspector and driver wanted. Must have an open mind. Call Hill’s at 555-1212”

Well, that looks promising. Given my current job is driving me crazy, might as well go by and see what this is all about. I give them a call and set up an interview.

On the day of the interview, I showed up at the office they directed me to. It is a hiring agency, not their location. A nice-looking blond takes my information and directs me to wait in interview room number one. After 5 minutes or so, a man wearing a nice casual suit comes in. He reviews my resume and application form, making a few marks here and there on the papers. After a minute or so of this, he looks up, “So, Josh, what did you think of the girl that you first met when you came in here? Would you like to cum in her mouth?”

What the hell? Well, I’ve got a job, it’s not like that if I don’t get this job it’s the end of the world, might as well see where this is going. “Sure, I mean, I’m a man. Even the gay guys like blow jobs.”

He nods and makes a mark on my application, then stands up and walks to the door, “Send her in…” he calls out. A few seconds later, the blond girl from the outer office walks in. The man in the suite says points at me and says to her ‘Blow him‘. She nods and drops to her knees in front of me. She opens my fly and starts to lick and suck on my dick.

While she is doing that, Mr. Suit starts asking me questions.

“Do you hunt or fish?”

I tell him I do. He hands me a stack of papers, and tells me to rate each woman shown on them from 1 to 10. While I was doing this, then blond was going to town on my dick. About halfway through the rating, I felt my balls tighten up, and I knew I was about to blast. She could tell as well and went all the way down on me and took it directly into her throat. Mr. Suit asked me, “Did you just cum in her mouth?” When I told him that I did, that’s when he dropped the bombshell on me. “The job you’re interviewing for is ‘Alternate Meat Source Inspector’. She is a slave, soon to be alternate meat. Do you think you could kill her?”

Well, damn. I had heard about the whole White Slave Act, plus the bit about alternate sources to avoid the whole mad cow thing, but didn’t think it through. I looked down at her and my dick started to get hard again, thinking about what he just said. “Yeah, I think I could, actually”. Mr. Suit made a note on my paperwork then said, “Well, finish up your ratings, then we will move on to the hands on part of your interview”.

My hands on part? Unlike what had happened so far? Whatever.

I finished grading the pictures and handed the stack of them back to Mr. Suit.

He rapidly looked over my assigned scores, then stood up, “It seems your ratings are in line with our standards. Let’s see how you do with actual slaves. Please follow me.” As he opened the door, a pair of beefy guys came in. “Take her to the Jessica station.” Mr. Suit told them. This had a rather major effect on the girl.

She basically started freaking out, as he led me down the hallway, I heard her scream “NO! I’m not supposed to go there! NO! LET ME GO! NO, PLEASE…”

After passing a couple of doors, then entered into one. There were 5 nude slaves standing against the wall. “Please rate these 5 from one to 10”

I looked at them “Seven, Eight, Six, Eight, Seven”.

Mr. Suit nodded, and made a notation on my form.

“OK, here, use this and rate how tight they are”, handing me a largish rubber dildo.

OK, whatever. I walked up to the first, told her to turn sideways and bend at the waist. I applied a bit of spit to the dildo, then pushed it up into her. Moved it back and forth a few times, then pulled it out. Went on to the next slave and repeated the process, however, I didn’t need to lube it up anymore. Did the same to the other 3.

“OK, number 2 seems the tightest, with 1 and 4 seeming like they were next. 3 and 5 are rather loose, with 5 being the loosest.”

Mr. Suit made some other notes on my forms. “OK, now check how firm their breasts are.”

OK, again, whatever, like I’m not going to want to cop a feel off several naked chicks. I grabbed each one’s tits in series. “In order of firmness: 2, 3, 4, 1, and 5”.

Mr. Suit made more marks. “OK, let’s move on to the final hands on test.”

Mr. Suit led me through a set of doors on the side of the room. They opened into a room all done in white tile. Even had a drain in the center of the floor. However, what I first noticed was the chick that had taken my forms and had sucked my dick during the early parts of the interview was strapped naked onto this machine. There was a 7-foot-long steel bar sticking out of her pussy, and there seemed to be a lot of odd gearing and strange bit of machines attached to this whole thing.

Mr. Suit walks over to her and puts his hand on the machine. “Josh, meet Karen Caraway, Karen was sold into slavery by her boyfriend about 6 months ago. The thing she is strapped to is called a “Jessica 3000”. It’s designed to make Karen here into a spit roast. The job you are interviewing for is “An Alternate Meat Evaluator”, which means you will be evaluating women for their potential as meat. Your tests so far have shown that your personal taste, so to speak, in women, matches up with our current grading guidelines. This is your final test.”

He hands me a remote control with a green, red, and black button on it.

“This controls the Jessica 3000. The green button will release Karen, and she will go back to being one of our administrative staff for at least 6 months. The red button will trigger a blade at her throat, cutting it, then start the gutting and impalement cycle after she has died. The black button will gut her and impale her alive. Her fate is up to you.”

I looked down at Karen. She looked back up at me, silently. I remembered her lips and tongue on my dick, and felt myself getting harder (it’s not like I haven’t been hard for the last half hour as it is). I looked down at the remote, I looked back at her, then at the remote, and finally at Mr. Suit. “What about the girls that I just graded?”

“They will be processed this afternoon. Karen is the only optional one” I nodded, and looked down at the remote. Without much thought, my thumb fell on the black button. I hesitated for a second or two, then pushed it.

The machine sprang to life. The poll, or spit I guess, started to push its way into her. Blood started dripping out of her pussy. The machine moved the spit at about a foot a second or so, so after 5 or 6 seconds, blood started to come out of her mouth, followed by the steel rod erupting from between her lips. It was like a perverse reverse blow job. From underneath her, I heard a motor start up and what sounded like a buzz saw spinning.

“That’s the gutting system” Mr. Suit announced. “We are having some technical difficulties with it right now, but in general, it removes the upper and lower intestinal track, plus the liver and most of the other internal organs. It’s still not working 100%. We’ve got some people working on fixing it now. Oh, when can you start?”

That was 4 years ago. I don’t know how many women I have graded in this job, it seems like thousands. Most of them don’t end up like Karen did, but that’s something I never forget, when I say a woman is “Grade A, with the Live Roaster Endorsement”, I remember Karen on that machine. And my dick gets a little harder.