Wednesday Morning, Weald Vo-Ag Class Livestock Area.
This story was originally written in the summer of 2024. Then something happened to it, and it got deleted. I was able to recover it via the Wayback Machine.
OK class, normally we would wait until the week of the end of the session to do decide which long pigs were ready for slaughter, but as it happens, Alison is already ready for slaughter now. We are going to live spit her for lunch today. If you can’t help or watch this, you will replace her for the rest of the session. Actually, one of you will replace her anyway, but that will not stop me from converting any of you that turn squeamish. It’s far too late in the class to drop out of the class for not being able to deal with butchering long pigs.
So I’ve got to decide on who gets picked. I have three ideas.
- I pull a random name from y’all, Steve and Fred excluded, obviously. Every one has an even chance.
- I just use the one of y’all that has the lowest current grade. That’s Natalie Banks, just for your information.
- I select two, and y’all vote for which one you want to see converted to long-pig. Just be advised, I’ve already made the selection of the two possibilities.
So what is it going to be? Pass these ballets around. Make your choice, then fold the ballot in half and then pass them back to me.
So it looks like the winner is the voting between two girls is the winning option. OK, Christine Bass and Karen Frederick come up here. Now I’m going to pass around the ballots for these two. Please make your selection. Steve and Fred, your votes will count as 3 votes. You may not split up your votes.
OK, let’s have that vote.
Looks like Karen is the long pig. Steve and Fred’s votes pushed you over the top. Christine return to the class.
The Karen will be converted to long pig status and will be kept here in the live stock area. I’ll notify her family. She will be raised as a long pig and if she is ready at the end of summer school, she will be roasted. If Karen is not ready, she’ll stay as a long pig and will be evaluated at the end of each 9 week grading period. Maya Weiss and Kiera Terry, I know that you are signed up for the human livestock class for next year. You two will be the primary student ranchers for her. If Karen isn’t ready by the end of the school year, both of you will be hung at a school assembly. If you do get hanged, I suspect you will not be alone. In fact, I know you will not be, the school board has asked that we supply at least one girl to be sacrificed at the end of the year. They suggested that it be the girl with the lowest grade, but that’s not required, it’s up to me to select her. But that is months away, so let worry about that later. And it’s possible that the sacrifice will come from the general student body.
Karen strip, or I’ll have Steve and Fred strip you. OK, boys hold your horses, she’s stripping on her own. Don’t fret, there will be plenty of involuntary stripping once we get the big bunch of live stock next week, all of you will get at least one, I’m fairly sure.
Ok everybody, take your smartphone out and use the grading app to find Karen’s appearance and meat grades.
Did anybody not get an A for appearance and C for real meat? OK, it looks by the show of hands that several of you didn’t. We will have a class on using the app next week. One of the slavers from Eastlake will be coming out here with a full grading machine that we will be calibrating your apps with. We will be grading the class as a whole. I did mention that there would be nudity, didn’t I?
Maya and Kiera, by the end of the school year, Karen needs to be at least B+, ideally grade A on the “Real meat” scale. Her meat grade will figure highly in your class grade. I don’t care what her appearance grade is, it’s going to go down, by quite a bit.
OK, with that over, let’s get on with the making of a spit roast. You five get the spit. You six hold her down. What we are going to do is push the spit from her vagina right through her and have it come out her mouth. Then we push it a little farther and put her over the coals. All of you will take turns basting her and rotating her.
OK, got her? She’s going to thrash around quite a lot when the spit goes into her. She might not survive the spitting, but I’ve been told that sometimes a spitted girl might survive until she goes over the coals. OK, start pushing the spit though her. There should be some resistance when you get to the end of her vagina. After that, it should be fairly easy.
And yeah, she’s thrashing around. Keep a hold of her, so the spit can go straight through her.
OK, she’s barfing up blood. That means the spit is in her throat. Keep pushing and it should come out her mouth.
OK, it’s out. You six carry her over to the coals. She seems to still be alive. Once she’s dead, take her off the coals and gut and clean her. You three are responsible for that.
Next time we roast a long pig, we will try some ways to roast one without a through the body spit. We will compare and contrast these methods. Given the length of time it takes a free-range long pig to be ready for being roasted, it’s most likely possible that we will not be doing that until in the normal school year. I’m glad that none of you flinched from your tasks. I would really not like to have any unplanned conversions to live stock. Want to warn you there will be more conversions, but not likely to long pig. I know we are short on human live stock right now, but next week should get the girls and women sold to the school. Every one will be assigned at least one to raise or train. We’re gonna start with pony girl training next. Melody is in the stable and should be ready for training.
So, keep rotating Alison until she is dead, then take her off and then the gutting crew can gut her and clean as needed. After that, she goes back over the coals and every one will take turns rotating and basting her.